There are few things I wish I had known before I touched down in London’s Heathrow Airport at 7:20am, now two Saturdays, ago.

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One, no one seems to know why London Bridge fell down. And if they do, this isn’t information that is freely given in guide books or listed on plaques commemorating the bridge and its history.

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It was the weirdest thing. I still have no idea. I meant to Google it when I got back to the hotel room but the wifi was spotty and that wasn’t the priority.

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Second, you know those cute little red telephone booths? Yeah, don’t open those. I had this idea to shoot outfit pictures using one. And then, one of my friends opened the door to the telephone booth closest to our bus stop as we waiting for the double-decker bus that was to take us to a pub for dinner arrived,  and well,  that was the end of that. It smelled like pee and drunk nights nights full of despair. I never went near one again. Which is a shame, really.

Buckingham Palace is, um, how to do I put this nicely? Really quite unimpressive. I felt like such a New Yorker typing that, but really, I was underwhelmed.

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Not by Big Ben, though. Or Westminster Abbey. It’s hard not to feel on top of the world when you’re looking down on London town from the London Eye.

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You know what I did find impressive? That the girls and I–despite my usually very strict rule of not getting on rides that can be taken down in a day–flew high above Hyde Park and all of London it seemed in one of those giant, tilting swing things while Miley Cyrus blared over the speakers.

I came in like a wreaaaaakkkkkinng balllllllll, she wailed as I tried to be cute and pose for Justine’s selfie mid-scream, high above London Town’s skyline.

I’m not sure if I ever did come down from that high or if the hot chocolate with rum and fried dough balls dipped into confectioner’s sugar made it really easy to forgot my toes were cold.

Arianna and Stephanie literally dragged Justine and I all over London looking for Brick Lane, apparently renowned for it’s Indian cuisine. But let me tell you, I get extremely cranky when I’m hungry (and tired, but no one was really sleeping this trip). Luckily, we made it, my toes didn’t freeze off and it was legit my favorite meal so far across the pond.

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I like chips, not so much fish, and I’m not the biggest beer fan, though I ordered and downed my first beer at a pub (not in life, just ordered at a pub)!

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But I still don’t know why London Bridge fell down.