I Give It Up to God

11 Aug I Give It Up to God

I’d hate to come in and start dumping my mess on you from the gate.

But, y’all.

Y’all.

I’ve been having a hard time at work.

Allan and I had a fight. It got kind of ugly pretty quickly.

And on top of all this, I was PMS-ing.

Because, when it rains it pours.

I took the first of the month as a sign to wipe the slate clean. I’ve been here before. I know how it feels when something is no longer serving me. It’s time to let go.

I know the power that words have. The Bible says there is life and death in the tongue. And yet, I’ve been struggling. I am not was not speaking life over my current situation or my desires. I was taking things as they came. Being reactive instead of proactive.

I spent August 1st with my girlfriends. But the second? I prayed hard for the strength to follow through what was in my heart. For God to align my plans with his.

Tuesday, an actual week after everything kicked off, I got my sign(s) loud and clear.

I stood up, left my desk, went into the bathroom, closed the door to the stall and prayed. I thanked God for hearing me. Thanked God for working in my favor.

I emailed this woman back in 2012. I told her that I found her an interview of hers that spoke to me, in the place that I was in: broken and unsure of myself. If ever she was looking for fashion writers, please, I asked, keep me in mind. I would love to contribute.

She emailed me last Tuesday. She’s launching a new venture and I wanted to know if I wanted to build out her fashion and beauty content. Obviously I did. She even referenced my email from way back then. I’d forgotten all about it.

Wearing: Glamorous Crop Top via Piperlime// H&M Circle Skirt// Zara Wedges// Deux Lux Studded Clutch// Marc Jacobs Lovemarc Lip Gel in Role Play// Illamasqua Nail Polish in Rare

I walked out of the stall and looked at myself in the mirror. Really looked at myself. I wished I had my phone. I wanted to take a picture. A millennial thing to do but I wanted record of this moment. Record of the shift. I’d felt it for a week or so. But this confirmed it.

I wanted to remember this day. My face, my outfit, the actual moment knew that it would be okay. [inlinetweet prefix=”” tweeter=”via @chan_inthecity” suffix=””]God didn’t forget me.[/inlinetweet] Or my blog. And both were still working for my benefit.

I went to see Big Sean and J. Cole in concert later that night. The two rappers took a page out of book and championed the importance of dreaming.

The importance of believing in yourself, and further the God that you serve.

I couldn’t wait to go home and pray on my knees.

When it rains it pours, but I guess Yasmein was right. The same can be said for blessings (on blessings on blessings ?).

?: Angel Lenise